The Craziness of Life

 Spring is starting to peek around the corner in NYC and it is wonderful!  Yesterday I took the girls I baby-sit to Central Park for the morning.  We fed the ducks in the lake(well tried to feed the ducks, the 2 year old pretty much scared them all away), played chase in Bethesda fountain, and ran through strawberry fields.  It brought joy to my heart to think that we might actually be having more of these beautiful days in the days to come.  What I am really excited about is when all the restaurants and cafes open up their outdoor seating.  I love passing the mexican restaurant next door to my apt and seeing all the people and food each night.  I love the smells and watching all the conversations.  Columbus Ave just has a lot more life when the weather is nice!  

I feel like I am learning a lot about life right now and even more about God!   Do you ever think that you are starting to get the pieces of the puzzle of your life somewhat put together and then the puzzle pieces change shape?   I feel like that is the story of my life and I know it is for most people.  God really was the one who opened the door for me to come to NYC.  The year leading up to my move was a rocky year for me, but God did so much in my life and I saw his faithfulness all over the place!  I feel like after I made this move I was starting to get some puzzle pieces put together and then they some started to change shape.  I know that probably makes no sense to whoever is reading this!  I guess what I am trying to say is that there is just a lot going on in my life right.  There are a lot of unknowns with my future in different areas of my life and  if I am to be honest I am just really struggling with it.  I don't want to go into detail and share all the details of my life, but I would love to ask that if you are reading this that you would just pray for me.  I was walking down the street yesterday and I just silently cried out to God and said, "God, I don't know what else to do but to trust you!"  I read in Psalm 107 where repeatedly in the bible people would cry out in distress and the Lord answered them and brought them out of distress.  One verse even talks about when they were "at their wits end."  Now I am not saying I am at my wits end,  but I do just feel extremely overwhelmed by my life right now.  I have been claiming a verse in Psalm 37:7 that says, "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him."  Another one I love is Psalm 32:10 "steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord."  That is where I feel like I am/want to be.  I want to trust the Lord with all of my heart and wait on him.  I will never forget something that a lady I know said.  She was lying in a hospital bed dying from cancer and someone asked her if she was scared.  She held out her palm and her response was so simple yet beautiful. "I don't have to be scared because I know I am sitting right here in the palm God's hand."  Now I know circumstances in my life are trivial compared to this lady who knew she was about to lose her life, but I have never forgotten that.  I know that each day my life sits in the palm of my Father's hand.  He is taking care of me!  I have to remember that right now.  

Living in a huge city, I am starting to get use to showing and seeing tears in public. So the other day I was walking down the street and tears just started to flow.  A few months ago I would have been embarrassed of this, but since there are very few shelters to be alone in this place, I just let them flow.  I cried because for a few moments I felt so lonely, small and just overwhelmed by my life.  I don't share that to sound like I am having a pity party!  I'm not!  Because the cool thing is The Lord has met me! He has given me hope! Not hope in circumstances, but hope in him.  Hope that he loves me and knows me, and wants to bless me.  He desires good things for my life.  He is in control and will never drop me from the palm of his hand.  So all I know to do in this time of "craziness" in my life is to wake up in the morning and walk with him.  I am fighting to believe his promises and rest in him.  When I get anxious or scared then I cry out to the Lord!  That is all I can do right now.  I think we all have days where we long for someone else's life or to be in someone else's "season" of life.  I have had some of those days lately.  Days where I think someone else is so "lucky"  or "life is just so easy for them"(believe me I know that is probably not true) .  Today though I thought, "This is my life, this is MY story, and I don't want to miss out on what God is doing in my life."  

The singer/songwriter Laura Story wrote a song that I absolutely love.  It is called "Make something beautiful"  I couldn't find the lyrics to post, but this is the chorus:

"All I know to do is lift my hands to you.  Take all of my life, all of my life and make something beautiful. Open my hand trusting your plan to make something beautiful, so all will see the work in me as you make something beautiful."

I want that to be my prayer, That God would "make something beautiful" out of my life. I want to walk with God each day and lift my hands to him.  I know that I will look back on this season as a time of growth and a time of God continuing to unfold his plan for my life. I know that as long as I live here on this earth, the puzzle pieces of my life will continue to change...they do for everybody, but I do ask you to pray for me. Pray that God's will would be done in my life and that I would cling to him in this crazy season of my life! 

 

Central Park...and some other random things!

My friend Frances made the big trip to the city a couple weekends ago!  It was so fun to have her here and show her my life.  She is pregnant with her 3rd child, so it was a big deal that she got to come!  We spent most of Saturday in Central Park.  It was fun to show her all my favorite places.  She is a professional photographer and so we did a little photo shoot in the park.  The 2 top pictures are just a couple of the fun pictures she took.  The last picture is the 2 of us in front of the ice skating rink.  I am so thankful for Frances's weekend with me.  She came at a time when I really needed a good friend:-).  Thanks Frances for leaving your two children and husband to come spend a few days with me! 

 I have been in New york 8 months now and have had 8 people come stay with me(that does not include a few others who did not stay with me, but I got to hang out with)! My friends up here told me I would probably have a lot of company when I moved up here.  Honestly I did not believe them, but now I THINK I DO!  Who wants to be next?  It's a happening place up here. :-)

Today as I was taking 2 of the little girls I baby-sit for out for pizza and ice cream, I realized once again how different life is up here.  The 2 year old has a ton of energy and took off running down the busy sidewalk... so instead of trying to keep her from running, the 4 year old and I took off after her and played chase down the sidewalks of the city together.  Now I know it may sound crazy, but they don't have a backyard to run around and play chase in.  Weaving in and out of people and stopping at the crosswalks of the busy streets is a normal way to play here. In a weird way I kind of like it.  We have to walk so much here and so I love that we can play fun games while we do it.  Another funny aspect of living in the city is that the 2 year old knows how to hail a cab!  Not to long ago I was carrying her down the street and she said she was tired.  When I told her that we were going to get in a cab and go home, she immediatly waved her arm in the air and yelled, "taxi, taxi."   It was so funny!  I thought, this is a true city girl!   

  

So my roommate, Meggie, was heading down to do her laundry this afternoon at the laundry mat around the corner from our apartment and guess who was standing right on our corner?  Sylvester Stallone.  I have to admit I love those little fun things that happen when your address is new york, ny!

YAY....I Get to come south on Sunday!  I am flying down for a week of vacation.  I am going to spend most of the week with my family in NC, but also get to have a fun little reunion with some of my friends who either live in Greenville,SC or are flying in for the weekend to attend a wedding.  I am excited about a fun and hopefully restful week!

Until next time...

My Little Place of Refuge

I like to call my bedroom "My Little Place of Refuge".... and when I say little I mean LITTLE.  My bed and my dresser literally take up the room(I am taking the picture from my doorway).  I have a tiny space to walk in between, but thats really it.  At first it seemed tiny to  me, but now it is just right.  One thing living in NYC has taught me is that I really don't need all the space that I think I do.  My little bedroom is my one place that is really mine.  It is a refuge for me from the  fast pace life of the city.  I did not have furniture for my first 6 months in the city, so I did not take pictures of my room when I posted pictures of the rest of the apartment.  I finally made the trek to Ikea and now have a fished bedroom (well except for the walls).  I started a "wall of love" above my dresser (thanks to my sister's great idea) where I am in the process of putting pictures up of my friends and family.  The wall is a little work in process.  Enjoy the pics! 

 

Today I set out on my 10 block walk to work and I realized how many different things you get to see when you walk everywhere.  

Today I passed:  

• The asian man stocking  the vegetables outside the corner mart by my apartment. Every time I see those fresh vegetables I think about how I should actually be eating more vegetables! 
• a lady in spike heels trying to pick up her dog poop out of the sloppy slush left over from Monday's snow. (It was a funny site and made me once again remember why I do not want a dog in NYC)
• the man running down the sidewalk wearing a baseball hat and large black sunglasses even though it was not sunny, trying to hide his appearance during his morning jog.  Celebrity's are normal people too.  
• the beautiful designer silk dress hanging in the store window that I know I will never be able to afford to own, but stopped and dreamed over anyways. 
• The homeless man who tied newspapers to himself to completely cover him.  (not sure if that is the best idea...let's hope it does not rain!)
• The kids laughing as they play chase down the sidewalk.
• The large black man who sits at the corner of columbus every morning raising money for the homeless.  He yells "Good day Miss Lady, God Bless God Bless God Bless"  everyday when I pass. . He has a smile on his face everyday even in the rain and the cold!  When I get stopped at the light I like to stop and talk to him and he always tells me the latest news stories of the day.  

So that was todays walk.  some of those things I see everyday, but I always see new things as well.  Today I am thankful that I have the opportunity to walk to so many of my destinations.  If I were in a car I would miss out on so many different things.   I love that my walks to work are not boring and that my neighborhood brings new sites every day that I walk!