Serving the Lord Unconditionally

I have been thinking a lot the last few days about what does it really mean to serve the Lord unconditionally. I know for this past year of my life so much of my prayers have been God I really desire this... Or God will you please give me this.... Tim Keller said in a sermon recently that we should say, "I will serve you, Lord, without condition. Even, if you never answer my prayers."

WOW that is so true, yet so incredibly challenging to wrap my mind around. The Lord has been so faithful to me and has answered my prayers repeatedly throughout my life, But even if God never answered another prayer, could I say that? I think about the verses in Habakuk 3 "Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, YET I will rejoice in the God of my salvation. God, the Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer's; he makes me tread on my high places."

I know that my life has been pretty "easy" compared to so many people. The Lord has blessed me tremendously and has given me abundantly more than I need or deserve. I know that, YET I still want more. Without even always being aware i often have this mindset of "God if I follow you, If I really serve you and show you how much I worship you, then you will bless me...then you will make my life easy and wonderful." I think God has to give me what I want because I am obeying him and he blesses those who obey him. UGH. Why do I think that? Even if I am called to live a life of hardships, pain, suffering I want to claim this verse in Habakuk. I want to be a woman who fears the Lord and follows him no matter the cost, no matter the hardships. I know that I am still young in the worlds eyes. Lord willing, i have many more years on this earth. I don't know what kind of Life God has prepared for me, what he will call me to. What I do know is that "as for me it is good to be near the Lord." I know that ultimately I do not want to live a life that is not in step with my savior. I know deep down that if I don't have life in Him then I don't really have life. I know that, but sometimes it is so hard to follow with my feelings. Sometimes I get scared because I think what if the Lord doesn't bless me? What if I never receive the desires of my heart? What if I am the girl watching all the good and exciting things happen to those around me but am never the receiver of it. That is what my mind and heart thinks so often BUT still I want to live a live a life that is so incredibly committed to my Father. Man, I am struggling with that right now. I was reading in Streams in the Desert last night. One of the lines in the devotion really captured me. The line read, "One way or the other we must learn the difference between trusting in the Gift and trusting in the Giver." Ouch. How often do put more trust in what I am asking for rather than the one I am asking.

I know this will be a continual struggle, but the prayer of my heart is that I would be putting my trust in the Giver, that I would be Rejoicing in the Lord each day of my life, that I would be worshipping the Lord no matter my circumstances. I want to pray in expectation that the Lord will bless me that he knows me and he wants good things for me, yet I want to trust him that he knows what those good things are. I know that what I think is best and what God thinks is best is not always the same. I want to believe that God is worthy of my trust and so where He leads me I will follow JOYFULLY.

And so I pray that you to would put your trust in the Giver and that you would be challenged by Tim Keller's statement. That we would all serve the Lord without condition.