Lessons while Commuting

I mentioned several times on my blog about how different my life is now that I reside in New York City. One of the many aspects that is so different is that I do not own a car anymore. I actually have only ridden in a car(besides a cab) 2 times in the city since I moved 18 months ago. Once when I moved apts and once to help take items to a children's after school program in the Bronx. Besides those occasions I have relied solely on other modes of transportation. I walk a TON, I ride the subway, the bus, and I take taxis. It was quite an adjustment for me to get use to always having to think about how I was going to get somewhere, but now I am use to it as it is a daily part of my life. For many reasons I really love not having a car. I like not having the maintenance of a car, the gas prices, and just the overall expense. I like that I walk a lot and get lots of exercise. I like that my legs are just naturally muscular now from all the daily walking. I like that I when I go out at night and am tired I can jump in a cab and have the cab driver drive me right to my front door. I like that on my commute to work I can read, write notes, or put on last minute make-up instead of having to drive in crazy rush hour traffic. For the most part I love that my transportation is shared with millions of others

That is my attitude most of the time, but then I have days where I am tired of walking, I am tired of people bumping in to me on the bus, I am tired of not having a trunk to put my grocery bags in, I am tired of waiting 20 minutes on a train and being late to work. I am tired of not being in control of my transportation. I have days where I have to pray for a good attitude and fight to not be frustrated. Those are just some overall thoughts on transportation in New york City.

So here's what I really want to share: Last night I showered, dressed nice, and hopped on the subway to go meet my friends for dinner downtown. As soon as I got on the subway car the smell engulfed me. I sat down in the only empty seat which happened to be immediately next to a passed out drunk man. When I couldn't take the smell anymore of the alcohol, I got up and walked over a couple feet. I was then staring directly at a very obvious homeless man who reeked of soiled clothes. I was on a very crowded train and I started to feel claustrophobic. The man behind me kept bumping into me and I suddenly about lost it. The smell was getting worse and as hard I tried to think about anything else, my stomach was starting to convulse. When we got to the next stop the train emptied a little and I was able to move down even further and sit by a nice(clean smelling) lady. I was honesty grossed out and suddenly felt dirty by my surroundings. It was then as I was looking at the people around me that the Lord decided to make it a teachable moment for me. I suddenly looked at the homeless man and the drunk man and realized THEY ARE MY NEIGHBORS.....and God has commanded me to love my neighbors as myself. Ouch. Why do I think that I am better than them? Why do I look down on them and honestly just think about how gross they are. Double ouch. They may be filthy and soiled on the outside and I may have been clean and well dressed on the outside, but on the inside we are the same. Without Christ my heart is filthy and soiled and gross. My sin is just as great as the man beside me who was passed out drunk. I may not struggle with the sin of drunkenness, but I struggle with many other things that in God's eyes are just the same. As I thought about it I was reminded of Isaiah 64:6 "We have all become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like a polluted garment." Even my righteous deeds are like filth in the Lord's eyes. Gosh that is hard to gulp. In the midst of my anger and disgust on the train last night I was missing the fact that I am no better. It is only by God's grace that I am not that drunk man on the subway. It is only by God's grace that I am not homeless, that I have clean clothes and a shower to bathe in. I need to be reminded of this. And since my heart is so incredibly forgetful I need to be reminded daily that these are my neighbors and I am called to love them. Love them in the same way that Christ loves me. The next time I get on a subway car that smells of alcohol and soiled clothes I pray that I will remember this night and remember the Lord's grace that washes over my my own filth.

God's lesson to me last night is one of the many reaons I love that I have the opportunity to live this season of my life in NYC. I am faced with the world daily. I cannot avoid those that the world looks down upon. I am faced every day with decisions to love my neighbor on the crowded subway cars and the busy sidewalks. As my sin is brought before me daily in these situations, I am thankful for my Father's great love, mercy, and patience with me. How sweet it is of the Lord to use my commute to dinner to teach me more of my sin and more of Him.