5 Years

It's been 5 Years Since I've entered the city of millions, the city that never sleeps, the city where dreams are made, the city of hustle and bustle, and lights that always twinkle.  

I often wonder if I knew what these 5 years were going to look like would I have gotten on that airplane on July 1, 2008? Would I have gone after my dreams and and started an adventure of a lifetime? Although I prayed and dreamed and tryed to picture what life on this island would be like, I had no idea what was really to come.  

The last 5 years have been filled with moments of joy and tears. It's never been easy and it's never been dull.  

 I've had many days when I've wanted to pack up and buy a 1 way ticket out, but the thing is this city gets in your blood.  It seeps into your heart and as much as you want to call it quits, before you know it it has become a part of you. A part of you that however hard you try will always be apart of you. 

 When I prayed about moving to this city, I knew I wanted to come here to be a light in the darkness, to make a difference.  I never knew what the journey would entail and that I would end up on the path that I did, that I would have the opportunity to make an investment in the way that I am.  

 I've had many moments on this journey of questioning the Lord, of wondering where the Lord is, and doubting His goodness to me.  As much as it's been a life journey, it's been a spiritual journey.  A journey of learning who God really is and who I am to him. The Lord has done a work in my heart that I never knew I needed. He's opened my eyes to Him in a new way and given me peace that He is with me.  In the many moments when I've wanted to turn and run away he's been faithful. He's gripped me and he's shown me that my only true hope is in Him.  

I know he's not finished with me yet.  I moved here thinking I might stay for 2 years, but never thoughts I would make to 5.  Each year I think, "is this it. is this the last year?" And each year I grow in living a life that is open handed to the Lord. 

I still wonder if my time in NYC is coming to a close or if the Lord has me here for a longer stint.  Either way, I want to be open.  I want to stay where He wants me, and go where He leads me. 

 Even though I've said I've always had a love/hate relationship with this city, I really do love it.  I love the city streets, that I can't walk a block without hearing a language other than English, that I can't wander the UWS without running in to someone I know, that my grocery store, dry cleaners, bank, church, drug store, fruit stand, park, favorite restaurants are all within blocks of each other, that I can never get in a "rut" in life because this city does not allow for that, that it's a city of passion and dreams and ambition, a city that stretches you to the greatest length, and breaths life into you.  

 The past 5 years have taught me to trust in the Lord in ways that I never had to trust before.  To cling to him when it feels like everything is sinking, and to rest in HIm knowing that He is the only one who really is holding it all together when it seems as if life is spinning out of control. 

 Even when I doubt, I know the Lord has me here for a reason.  I don't know that I'll be here forever, but for today this is where He has called me.  This is my Home for today and it feels good to say that.  

I often pray that one day I will have the opportunity to bring my children to these city streets and share with them the stories of how this city gripped my heart, of the adventures I had, of the crazy things I did, of the joys and heartrbreak I experienced and how the Lord used it all to make me into the person I am today. 

 

I'm thankful for this city and proud to be a New Yorker

In some ways the past 5 years have flown by and in other ways, it's felt like 5 long years.  It's like that when we are waiting on the Lord, when we are wondering what He is up to.  But just as the seasons of New York come and go, The Lord is showing me that this is a season.  That my life here is a season.  A season where he is making something beautiful.  And instead of wishing a season away He wants me to delight in Him and believe that He has promised to bless me in each and every season. 

And so here I am celebrating 5 years and wondering what year 6 will entail!  

 

I read this simple quote tonight and yet felt so incredibly in love with it, because it's so incredibly true. "I look out the window and I see the lights and the skyline and the people on the street rushing around looking for action, love, and the world’s greatest chocolate chip cookie, and my heart does a little dance." - Nora Ephron.  Maybe this quote means little to you, but to me it means so much.  My heart does that little dance so often when I breath it all in and realize this is my life.  

Tomorrow may be  a hard day.  A day when I experience yet another change, another dissapointment, another day of the Lord telling me to wait on something that I want today, but I'm learning as I go and with the hard days and the good days I'm learning how present the Lord is in it all.  He holds this island of millions in his hand along with the rest of the nations, and with me close to his heart. 

The one thing I know is that I will always treasure these years in NYC.  That even in the moments of wondering what my life might look like if I had never gotten on that plane I will always be thankful for my journey, that this is the life the Lord wrote for me before one of my days came to be.  It's been an exciting 5 years filled with days I will never forget.  

This article sums up so much of what all New Yorkers feel and want to express.  Although much of it might sound funny to many who read, to those who call this city home it just makes perfect sense.  

My words feel scattered tonight, but my heart is filled with thankfulness.  

Thankfulness that I made it in this city this long and for the unbelievable journey it's been.  

And as Frank Sinatra said so perfectly "If I can make it there I'll make it anywhere It's up to you New York, New York"

Thank You New York for welcoming me in and allowing me to experience the journey to today!

Happy 5 Years to Me!