Thinking about Faith...

So last month I read the book "The Hiding Place" I read it in high school and found it buried in a box when I was at my parents house over the holidays. I remember enjoying it, so I thought I would give it another read. I read it quickly and walked away truly humbled and amazed. I have heard so much about Corrie Ten Boom over the years and have always respected her, but diving into the life of her and her family opened my eyes again to what it means to really take up your cross and follow Christ. For those of you who have not read this book, I would highly recommend it. I won't go in to what the book is about but basically it is the story of a family who helped jews in their home in Holland when the Germans took over. They were eventually captured and put in a concentration camp. What they went through, for most of us, truly is unimaginable. What stood out to me was not so much the terrible the environment they resided or the horrible way they were treated, but more how they handled it, and even more specifically their faith. They carried a bible with them every single day, everywhere they went. On multiple occasions they were stripped down and had absolutely nowhere to hide their bible, yet they prayed and waited in faith that God was going to protect them and allow them to keep their bible. Every single time God provided! And in the most incredible ways. They lived part of their time in a flea and lice infested room where they held daily bible studies for the women in the camp. They knew that if they got caught they would be killed, yet they trusted God and walked in faith. It finally came to Betsy one day that the reason they were not getting caught was because of the fleas. No guard was willing to step foot into their barracks. In this moment Betsy worshipped the Lord praising God for the flea infested environment they lived in that because of the conditions of the room they were able to preach and teach the name of Jesus every day in their living quarters. It was circumstance after circumstance that to me were unfathomable, yet Betsy and Corrie each time found a reason to praise the Lord and thank Him for having them just where He did.

I write all that to really say that the Lord has used this book along with His word to teach me in a new way what it means to have faith. I have been reading and studying some in different places in the bible where God's people walked in faith. They did not walk by what they saw ahead of them, but they walked in darkness believing that God would provide for them, that God would do what he said he would. "Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1. In this world it is so easy to want to walk in what we see. To trust people or what we think will be safe, it is so much harder to let go and believe in the all powerful God. So often in my life I feel like the man in Mark 9, "I believe; help my unbelief" I am the man who looks at God and says, "If you can" and my thought process is "Can you God?" Jesus put the man in his place by saying, "If you can! All things are possible for the one who believes" Wow, how humbling is that! As I have studied people who walked in faith and have prayed daily for my own heart to have faith, I have really seen the Lord give it to me. There are a couple specific things going on in my life right now where I really believe the Lord is just saying to me, "Bethany, have faith!" I know that ultimately God does not always give us what we want, and there are times we pray for specific things and God does not give them to us how we want or when we want, but I also believe that God moves our heart to pray for things. God moves our heart like a watercourse and leads us to pray for specific things that really are of him. He gives us desires for a reason. And when he lays those things on our heart we have to believe that He will fulfill it, that He will answer our prayers! And so in "The Hiding Place" Betsy was led to pray for some specific things regarding their future. Every thing around them and every circumstance was leading to the place that there was no way God would say yes to her prayers, but even when what she could see on earth looked dim, she believed. She walked in faith and trusted the one who says "all things are possible", the one who says "nothing is to hard for me" And God answered yes! It was not necessarily the way she would have envisioned or at that moment necessarily wanted, But God answered in a way that was perfect! And so I am learning right now to not look to the world, to not look at what I can see in front of me for faith. I am learning what it means to bow humbly before my God and pray earnestly and as Hannah did when she left the temple after praying for Samuel, walk away in peace, because I know my God knows my heart. My God knows my desires, My God knows what is best for me! The Israelites did not start walking across the Jordan after God parted it, They started walked in faith, and God parted the waters. They walked not knowing what was ahead of them, trusting the one who told them to walk.

So I am struggling. I daily deal with doubt. I daily question God. But I am learning slowly. I want to walk in confidence believing in God's promises and as Corrie and Betsy did waiting in expectation knowing that God is going to meet my every need. That He is not going to leave me or forsake me. That He leads my heart to certain places for a reason, he leads me to pray for certain things for a reason. The Lord is challenging me in this area of my life. He is teaching me how simple faith is, yet how incredibly difficult it is to have. Oh but I want it! I want to be like Abraham, David, Daniel, Esther, Ruth, Hannah, and so many more who have gone before me leading a legacy of faith. Leading a legacy of walking with the Lord and doing what He asked of them. And so I am walking in faith right now with my life...believing God has a great purpose He has a plan for me. And I am excited to see the darkness turn to light. I am excited see what God has in store for me as I walk with him, holding on tight.