A Pizza Shop on the Corner

I will never forget the tiny pizza shop on the corner of Broadway and 36th street.  Its really nothing special, just another place to get good NYC pizza, but for me it will always have a special place in my heart.  I pass this pizza shop everyday on my way to work, yet have never bought a slice a pizza here.  As I walked to work this morning I decided I wanted a diet coke and ran in the pizza place to get one.  As I looked around memories began to flood back.  I stared at this one back table for a long time and the floodgates opened.  For it was almost 3 years ago to the day that I walked in this tiny restaurant to sit and soak in the thought of moving to NYC.  I had finished my interviews at Redeemer and was waiting on my friend Kelli to finish shopping.  As I sat on this busy corner I dreamed and I prayed about the possibility of living life in this beautiful city of millions.  It was on this corner that I knew that I would be coming back. I didn't know how it was going to work out, or when it would happen but I knew God was calling me away from my roots to begin a new adventure in this place I now call home.  As I reminisce about the last 3 years I think about who I was then and who I am now.  I could never have known what lie ahead of me. If I did I might have chickened out of boarding that flight with my 2 suitcases. But God knew.  He not only knew, but He thought it was best for me.

I did not know then that......  I would fall in love with Central Park on my 1st day in the city. That my first dinner in the city would be one of my all time favorite restaurants and that my apt would be next door to it.  I did not know that I would love my job so much and yet have to fight so hard to have it turned into a full time position.  That I would develop such deep relationships with a few of the families at Redeemer and now depend on them more than I thought would ever be necessary.  I did not know that I would start a fellowship group with Amy and that 2.5. years later we are still not only going strong but that God is doing an amazing work in the lives of these girls and our group.  I did not know the friendships I would make and the amazing community I would develop here.  I did not know that I would belly laugh so often about how crazy life here can be and how daily adventures are just a part of city life.  I did not know that I would have my heart broken and that it would hurt so badly. I did not know that letting go of everything familiar and starting a totally new life is so crazy hard.  I did not know that I would shed more tears than I thought was possible. That I would learn to trust in the Lord in a totally new way and experience a deeper intimacy with HIm as I have had to cling to him more closely than ever.  I did not know all the cool experiences I would have and that life really can be slightly glamorous here. I did not know that grocery shopping would be so incredibly tiring and that carrying groceries 10 blocks gets old after awhile.  I did not know that not having a car would be so amazingly great and that public transportation is really not that bad. I did not know that daily life here could be so incredibly frustrating at times.  I did not know that I would have a love/hate relationship with the city at times.  I did not know that I would love being a part of Redeemer and that being under the teaching of TIm Keller would be so great.  I did not know that tourists would get on my nerves so badly, yet at the same time love living in one of the biggest tourist traps in the world.  I did not know that I would miss my family and friends as much as I do and struggle so greatly with feeling left out of their lives.  I did not know all the incredibly interesting people I would come into contact with on a daily basis.  I did not know that I would love and learn so much about diversity. I did not know that it would be possible to struggle so greatly with loneliness in a city of millions.  I did not know that the city can feel such like a small town at times.  I did not know that New York City would find such a deep place in my heart.  I did not know that I would love it.  That it would become such a part of who I am. I did know know what God had in store for me.  I did not know that this is exactly where I have needed to be the last 2.5 years and that God would use my life here to stretch me and grow me in a way that I did not know was possible.  There were many things I did not know, but what I did know is that God promised to be with me every step of the way, holding my hand, guiding me, leading me down the path of His will.  And because of that I can do this crazy adventure of my life.  

I am not the same person I was 3 years ago when I first sat in the tiny pizza shop. My life here has not easy, but I would not trade it for anything.  This was my dream and I will always be thankful to the Lord for giving me this dream and orchestrating it so beautifully.  I know most likely I will not live here for the rest of my life, but I do know wherever God takes me next this little concrete jungle will have a special  place in my heart.  I dream of bringing my kids here one day and telling them story after story of how these city blocks have been used by the Lord to make me the person I am and hope to be. 

  all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.  Psalm 139: 16b

For I know the plans I have for you,declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

 I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them;  I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; 
I will not forsake them. Isaiah 42:16

If i can make it there, I'll make it anywhere
It's up to you - New York, New York

Frank Sinatra