Good Friday is here and the season of lent is coming to a close. I think to myself, have I really even thought about lent this year? Is my heart prepared for today? Do I really grasp the significance of Easter? This has been such a busy and intense few months for me that I have blinked and today is here. But then I remind myself all that I've been learning the last few months and it has everything to do with Easter. I decided when I turned 30 that I needed to make some changes in my life, I needed to work through some things, and I needed to understand why I was having such a hard time with certain things. So in a sense I made some intentional decisions that I thought would be helpful. It's been a unique season of me learning so much about myself, and through learning about myself I've been learning even more about the Gospel.
I feel like I am re-learning the Gospel, grasping the significance of it, and realizing what the Gospel means for me. As I've wrestled through different things in my life what has finally come into the light for me is how much the Lord cares for me. YES I know this is something that as Christians we hear a lot, but really I am learning it in a new way. I mean HE really cares for me. He cares when I'm sad, he cares when I'm lonely, he cares when i'm joyful. And not only does he care, but He is in this life with me. Because of the cross He has promised to never abandon me, therefore I am His and He is mine. He canceled the record of my sin on the cross and remembers it no more. Because of the cross he looks at me with compassion. He sees me as his and he cares about what I care about. I realize how often I put God in a "human box" and think of a God who constantly gets dissapointed with me or wants things to be hard for me so i'll finally learn what he wants me to learn, instead of a God who responds to me with love and gentleness.
A few months ago I told someone I didn't think God was being very caring towards me because I was dissapointed about a few back to back hard things that were happening. I realize now that the Lord has been nothing, but caring towards me. YES there is suffering in this world, there is hard things happening every day around this world but as a child of God HE is sad when I am sad. As a father has compassion on is child how much MORE will our God in Heaven have compassion on those of whom he loves. As we are called to rejoice with those who rejoice and suffer with those who suffer how much MORE will our Father do these things.
It's incredible to me that as my view of God changes my view on life changes. I really do feel like I am learning God's character in a new way for me that is opening my eyes to the significance of who I am in Christ. I know I will struggle with doubting these truths I'm learning and some days will be easier than others, but I'm thankful for the Lord's patient care of me that and that he does not give up on me. He is faithful to me when I am faithless and He teaches me more of Him in the seasons when I am questioning the most.
I hope I will say this when I am 95 but I love how we can know the Gospel, yet we can continue to re-learn it and and grasp the significance of it in new ways. It's so simple, yet so complex. And as Tim Keller constantly reminds us, "The Gospel changes everything"
Thankful for Good Friday and for Easter to celebrate the fact that because God abandoned Jesus on the cross, I will never be abanoned, and to celebrate the one who shows compassion and care to the children he loves so much.
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