Pages

Sunday, October 12, 2014

The BIG Move...



6 years ago I went after my dream of living in New York City when I boarded a plane July 1 2008 with two suitcases and a heart of excitement.  I didn't know where this new life would take me, but I knew God was calling me to the island of Manhattan.  I always tell people that moving to NYC was one of the biggest seasons of walking in faith for me and seeing the Lord provide for  me each step of the way.  Many thought I was crazy for moving to a city of millions when I knew almost no one, but I knew it was right and I knew God was going to provide. 

Today 6 years later I look back on these years with so much thankfulness.  Although living in NYC is one of the hardest things imaginable the Lord has blessed me here. I've had an amazing job, an amazing church, rich community, a beautiful apt, some of the coolest experiences imaginable, and the opportunity to live in one of the best cities in the world.  I fell in love with New York City.  People say that once New York City becomes a part of your heart it won't ever go away, and I really believe that is true.  I'm not the same person I was when I moved here and through heartbreak and joy this city has been my home. I've become my own person here and have learned more life lessons in these 6 years than some people probably learn in a lifetime.  I came for an adventure and in good times and bad an adventure it's been.  

But I sit here today to write the words that I've put off for some time "I"M MOVING". It's surreal for me to say it and surreal for me to write it.  It's been a long time coming and it's honestly just taken me a long time to want to write about it. I won't bore you with the whole story, but because people have been asking and because I'll never be able to tell everyone in person here's a somewhat brief version of the story!  

The beginning of this year I began to get the "itch" that maybe it might be almost time for me to move out of the city.  As I wrote earlier I LOVE this city, but it is also so incredibly hard to do life here.  On many levels I was feeling incredibly weary. And on top of that weariness I was also really ready for some change.  I LOVE my job, but I also wondered if maybe the Lord was getting ready to take me somewhere else where I could continue to grow and learn and be used by Him.  I didn't know what this meant but I did pray some specific things, wondering what the Lord had for me in 2014.  Fast forward a few months  I got a phone call from the head pastor of Oak Mountain Presbyterian Church about a job opportunity in Children's Ministry.  Although the idea of this job (that happens to be my sisters church) was appealing I decided at the time for more reasons that I care to blog about that it wasn't the best timing, so I decided not to pursue it.  The next month after this conversation ended up being a pretty difficult month for me for some personal reasons.  Through this time I really prayed and asked the Lord what he wanted for me. It was during this time that I just couldn't let the job in Birmingham out of my head or heart, so after some more prayer and counsel and conversations I decided to give this job some thought.   At this time I honestly didn't know if this was the best job for me, best move for me, best anything for me, but I followed where the Lord was leading and tried to be as open handed as possible.  Long story short after a lot more prayer, seeking the Lord, counsel, conversations, a lengthy interview process, and the list goes on I accepted the job as Children's Director at Oak Mountain Presbyterian Church in Birmingham Al.  

On no level was it an easy decision.  I honestly haven't agonized over a decision before like I did this one.  When I look back on this year and some of the things I have prayed and then what this job is offering me it's like the Lord is handing me answered prayers and an amazing opportunity on a silver platter.  On the flip side moving forward with this opportunity is giving up a job, a life and a city that I love.  

It's been a process. A process that has taken me to my knees really asking and listening to the Lord.  It's drawn me closer to my Father as I've gone to him in my honesty, fears, desires, and questions.  But at the end of this process what I know to be true is that God is calling me to this new place and to a new job that will allow me to continue to invest in children and be used by him for the kingdom.  
On many levels I am excited.  I'm excited to be near family again, which is something that I've desired for awhile.  I'm excited for a slower pace of life, more room to live, a lower cost of living, warmer winters.  New York City is a city like no other and as exciting and glamourous as it can be it is also by far the toughest place in the USA to live.  Tim Keller mentioned in a sermon recently that NYC was never meant to be a place to live. It was meant to be a place to work and then leave and make your home in the suburbs.  I can totally see why that would be true.  Life here has a way to knock you on your face a few times a day.  At the same time this city has won my heart and it's so incredibly beautiful.  I love the the people, the culture, the diversity, the vulnerability, the community, the smells, the food, the life here.  I could never have imagined the roles that the Lord would put me in here and the way He would use me.  So much of what I prayed for I saw him do here in my life and in the lives of others.  My heart is grieving packing my bags and leaving this city.  I cry when I think about saying good-bye to my home here and walking into so much unknown.  As crazy as it is, I know New York City.  I know how to get around,  I know the best places to eat, the people who live in my neighborhood. I have deep friendships here.  I can't go anywhere in the neighborhood without running in to someone I know.  It's so incredibly scary to think about leaving what is familiar.  It's funny to me how familiar this city is to me and that Alabama where I grew up feels so incredibly unfamiliar.  

I write all this in honesty because people have asked me. When people ask me if i'm excited (which they do often) my answer is YES, but my answer is also, I'm grieving.  I'm grieving what has been my home and I'm grieving saying good-bye to so many that I love.  BUT yes I'm excited to start this new adventure. I've excited about my new job and my new church.  I am walking into an amazing job, church, and life situation.  I'm going to get to live in the same city as my sister, bro-in-law and 3 nieces. I'm going to be the Children's Director at my nieces church.  I'm going to get to see family more than a few times a year.  I'm going to get to have a life that I haven't been able to have while living in NYC.  

I believe that NYC needs Christians and although I do feel confident God is taking me out of this city at this time I am still one who thinks ministering in the city is incredibly strategic and necessary.  If God wanted me too I would live in this city for the rest of my life, but I don't think that's plan for me right now.  And I know that God doesn't need me here.  He will grow me and use me where he calls me and for today that is Birmingham.  Who knows one day I may be living life in NYC again (prayerfully I have a lot of years ahead of me) but for today He is calling me to pack my bags and say good-bye.   

And so around Nov 2nd I will board a plane to Alabama and I will start my new life there. It will be a new adventure with new community, new experiences, and new opportunities.  But I know that when God calls He provides.  In the same way that He has been faithful to me in NYC I am trusting him to be faithful to me in Birmingham.  

It's a crazy, scary, and exciting time for me.  I'm sure I will share more on this blog about my transition but for now that is my story.  This next month for me will be a month of packing boxes, transitioning out of my job here,  living in up in NYC (I have a crazy bucket list that I'm working through) saying good-bye to many, moving into a new home, buying a car (eek have barely driven in 6 years) and starting a new life in a new city.  

I am thankful that I have a God who goes before me and is with me each step of the way.  

"I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them." Isaiah 42:16




1 comment:

Amy A. S. said...

This made me cry. I feel like I'm leaving NYC all over again watching you go through this. Love you and praying for your transition.