The Emotionally Healthy Church

My boss at Redeemer asked me a couple months ago to read the book The Emotionally Healthy Church by Peter Scazzaro.  Being the great little employee that I am I read a couple chapters, put it down, and forgot about it.  Now 2 months later I get an e-mail from her asking for us to discuss it during our upcoming one-on-one meeting and for me to share some specifics of what I've learned in my reading.  We meet on Monday so needless to say I've done some cramming this weekend.  I'm only half way done, but so far it has been such a good read for me.  I think at this point I am learning, but a little overwhelmed with how it is hitting me.  It is specifically hitting me because it is written by a pastor in NYC who touches on the high pressure of urban living.

The 2nd chapter opens with the author talking about how so many people in our churches are unconnected to their own emotions.  He talks about how emotional health and spiritual maturity go hand in hand.  People separate emotional maturity and spiritual maturity but really they are strongly linked together.  

This book has been a wake-up call to me as the author shares story after story of people who were leaders in their church, pastors, respected people in the Christian community, but were so focused on others and "saving the world" that their lives were spiraling out from them until destruction happened.  

There is this pressure (subtle or not) to have everything together.  I think we so often think (or I know I do) that we have to have our lives in order, our emotions in order.  and we are scared to touch on what's going on underneath the surface.  I think what I am learning so far in the book is that in order for us to have true intimacy with the Lord we have to dig underneath the surface, we have to peel back the layers and deal with the whys of what we are feeling and struggling with.  I know for me I tend to busy myself and get involved in a lot of different things to avoid doing my own heart check-ups.

Sometimes I feel really awkward about what I share on this blog. whenever I do blog post on things i'm struggling with or what the Lord is teaching me I feel like people are going to read it and look down on me. I read blogs a lot, and most of them are about all fun things, and good things.  Thats ok, but I know when I read them I often walk away thinking "man their lives are perfect"(i realize it's not necessary to tell the web everything:-))   I know I so often portray this as well in my daily life.  I portray whats going on on the outside, but i'm scared to let others know when I'm not doing well or when I'm really struggling with sin.  I think I should have it together so I just stuff it down.  And even when I write this I think "am i the only one who feels this way".  I know i want true intimacy with the Lord and with others, but it feels so impossible.  It's so easy to laugh with friends, talk about our weeks, maybe share a "small" struggle or two, but how much do we leave out.  I see this a lot with my friendships.  I saw all this but as I read this book I realize I am totally clueless on how to be connected to my emotions, how to be ok with weakness, failure, and lack of acceptance from others.  In my bible studies and relationships we talk about "being real" but what does that really mean?  I feel like I am real, but then I realize in my realness I am still able to only let people in to what I want to let people into.  I think I am scared of being "the only one"  The only one who struggles with ......, the only one who has fears and anxieties about certain things, the only one who has bad days and doesn't think life is always that great.  

I love how Peter talks about how the gospel has given us a "safe environment" to look below the surface to develop an awareness of our emotions and to ask the "whys" or "whats going on".  It is ultimately linked to the gospel.  And God has seen it all.  We may hide from others, but we can hide from the one who created us.  He loves me and cherishes me and longs for me to be free from the "glittering image" that is so easy to hide behind.  People are messy, but thankfully we serve a God who came to save messy people.  

So I write all this because this book has really made me think. It's been a little hard to digest, but it's good for me.  I am looking forward to reading the rest of it and prayerfully taking from it some life changing applications.
I would also recommend this book to others.  I think it is something that we probably all need a little "kick in the pants" in.
Now I need to get back to reading the 2nd half of the book.  I might write more on that half when I actually finish it!