Joy and Acceptance

In January 2010 my old boss challenged each person on my team to pick a word for our year.  I picked Contentment.  It was so good for me to focus on this one word all year that in 2011 I picked a new word, Hope.  Again learned so much about Hope that year.  So in 2012 I picked Surrender.  And maaaannn did I learn a lot about surrender in 2012.  I prayed almost daily that the Lord would teach me what it means to surrender to Him, let go of sticky fingers, and to lay it before him.  Now, I still have soooo much to learn (and will until Heaven) but the Lord put specific circumstances in my life where I was forced to surrender, to let go and to really believe that He was in control, that he was better than _______.  Sanctification is a slow process, but I know the Lord is continuing to grow me in these things even when my sinful nature wants to one the other way.

And then 2013 came around.  I spent a lot of time over December praying, journaling, and in the word reflecting on my past year and really asking the Lord to open my heart to what He had for me in 2013.  And the 2 words that continued to pop into my head were Joy and Acceptance.  Not words that I would have thought about, but the more I've prayed the more I want these words to be a reality in my life.   I've been so convicted of being so focused on my circumstances and the circumstances around me that it's robbed me of joy and acceptance, it's robbed me of living my life to the fullest.  I know this will continue to be a battle for me, but I want my life to be centered around Jesus.  I want to be so consumed with him and satisfied in him that the things of this world grow dim. I know that living in a fallen world means that life isn't going to always go our way.  People are going to die, relationships are going to be broken, loneliness will never go away, circumstances will not always be easy. But with these things there is HOPE when Jesus is at the center. There is PEACE when we rest in Him.  There is JOY when we know that there is more to life that what we see.

My gradmother's life verse was Habakuk 3:17-19, "Though the fig tree should not blossom,  nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord;  I will take joy in the God of my salvation. God, the Lord, is my strength;  he makes my feet like the deer's;  he makes me tread on my high places.".   I love this verse!  That though life may look dim at times, "The Lord is my strength"  Circumstances do not have to rule us.  Life can be full and beautful and joyful.  I want that to my life.  I want to be that person who could say that verse with confidence knowing that Jesus is enough.  I'm not that person........but I want to be.  

And so with humility and a hesitant heart I am asking the Lord to teach me what it means to accept the path the Lord has written for me and to live fully with joy each day that He gives me.  That when the anxiety and fear creeps in that I would lay it at his feet.  That when the sins that I struggle with each day take over I would once again ask the Lord to daily help me fight.  That when the weariness and doubt fill my mind and heart I would ask the Lord once again to give me faith.

My prayer tonight in my journal, "Lord help me to be more consumed with you, please ease the pain in the hard moments, catch my tears, and hold me close. May I experience the richness of letting go and living fully in you."

Who knows what 2013 holds.  It may be a year of wonderful things, a year of a hard things, or mix of both. BUT I want this theme to be a part of me. That I would pray for joy and acceptance and take captive each thought and action that does not make Jesus at the center.  

It's going to be a long year life of learning these things but I know it should be no other way.  May Jesus be glorified in me!

"This God - his way is perfect, the word of the Lord proves true. He is a shield for all those who take refuge in Him." 

Psalm 18:30