Freedom

For the past several years I have picked a word for my year.  It started as something my old boss challenged me to do, but as the years go on the idea has spread and now I feel like all of my NYC community has words for their year. It's been really neat to pay for people and their "words" and to share what we are learning through it. Every year I pray through scripture as I try to decide what I want to really ask the Lord to teach me that year.  Last year was actually 2 words, joy and acceptance.  The Lord definitely taught me alot through my story to really be able to cling to these words and grow in what it means to live a life of joy and acceptance.

 This year it took me a long time to settle on anything.  I didn't want to just choose a word, but really want to think through what has been strongholds in my life this past year and what did I want to grow in.  And then I remembered this one conversation (that was surrounded by many other conversations) where someone in my life looked at me and said, "Bethany my prayer for you is that you would experience freedom in your life. If you could let go of the fear that grips you, all these other things (that we had talked about) would be different".

Since that conversation several months ago I've really thought about her words and realized that when I think about some of the tightest strongholds in my life they center around fear.  As I was praying, 2 Corinthians 3:17 continued to come to mind, "where the spirit of the Lord is there is Freedom". I know in my head that in Christ I have been set free, that my identity is in him, my future is in His hands, He is my sufficiency but I often don't live like that.  And so as I prayed for my word it came very clear that this year I want to really understand and live in freedom.  I want to live in the freedom of being his daughter and that as his child His promises are true for me. That I don't have to live in the slavery of everything being in my hands, my sin has been paid for and I am HIS.  I was crucified with Christ and I no longer, but Christ lives in me. He loved me enough to give His life for me (Galations 2:19)  With this truth there is freedom to be broken, to not have it all together, to live in grace, to trust the one who died for me, to really believe that Jesus is enough for me and he is going to provide for me.

This past month as I've prayed for freedom it's amazing to me how many times I've thought through this word when making daily decisions, when the fears and anxieties creep in, when I'm relating to other people. And I'm realizing how much peace and joy there is when I really believe I have freedom in the Lord.  This life just isn't about me and that is a slow process i'm learning.  I know I have so much to learn and I will continue to struggle with all of this, but I am thankful to the Lord for being patient with me and reminding me that as his daughter I have the opportunity to experience a freedom that is impossible without him.  I am his and he is mine and with that comes a beautiful freedom to be his daughter and to receive all the benefits that comes with being a child of of the King of Kings!

I just finished reading a book by "Joni Earkeckson Tada" where she said this quote that has really stayed with me "There is no circumstance, no trouble, no testing that can ever touch me until first of all it has gone past God past Christ, right through to me. If is has come that far, it has come with great purpose."  There is great peace and freedom in that knowing how present Christ is in our lives, how deep he cares, and much he has promised to take care of his children. Knowing I serve a God like this allows me to live in freedom.

I don't know what 2014 will look like for me, but I do pray that through whatever comes my way I would be able to cling to Jesus and live in the freedom that He has offered me.