Choosing Joy

Every day we have choices to make, we choose the attitude we are going to have and the way we are going to go about our day.  This morning I had a choice to make.  I could choose to be sad and bitter about this day or to have joy and to embrace the day that it is.

For most of my years lately I have dreaded Valentines Day.  It's a day that I dread looking on social media at my friends being spoiled by a spouse or loved ones, that I am reminded of bad memories of past years, and that the loneliness of my heart is put more in front of me.   So as today drew near I knew I had a choice to make.  A choice on where my heart was going to be and where I would let my thoughts drift to.  And then as I awoke this morning I read this quote.  "Let us sing when we do not feel like it for in this way we give wings to heavy feet and turn weariness into strength"  - John Henry Jowett. I needed this today.  This quote today reminded me that even in my heavy heart and weary feet I am deeply loved by the one who has poured out His ultimate love for me.

Today, like other days, I could choose to have a pity party for myself or I could choose to fight for joy.  I have every reason to be joyful.  I have every reason to dwell in the one who will always loves me the most and who deeply cares for my heart.  It is hard to sing when we don't feel like.  It's hard to fight for joy when everything in us wants to dwell in sadness. But today I was reminded that it is really is so much better to let the love of the Father be the one who fills my heart, my head, and my day.

As I journaled today I prayed that I would always sing when I do not feel like it,  that I would choose to allow the Lord to be the one who gives me wings for my heavy feet and turns my weariness into strength.  This day reminds me how weary I am, how much I have given up hope and have settled into sadness on so many levels.  But I know I don't want to stay there. It's a daily fight, a daily going to the Lord in my weariness and asking Him to be near, asking Him that I would be reminded of his simple faithfulness to me each and every day.

So on this Valentines Day I sit here in this moment alone, but knowing that I am ultimately never alone and never will be.  The one who is the greatest picture of love is holding me in the palm of his hand and drawing my weary heart close to his strong and steady heart.  For that I am thankful and for that that I can sing.

"O love that will not let me go I rest my weary soul in thee."