14 tips for wedding planning

It's been 7 months since our wedding. 7 months since that day that I had dreamed about for so very long.  Hard to believe, yet so much life has happened since that day.  As much I think about writing about marriage I've been wanting to a wedding wrap up post.  When I was planning our wedding I was that person that asked advice, read magazines on wedding planning, and really wanted help from those who had gone before me.  One of the first things I did when I got engaged was email a handful of my closest friends who had gotten married in the last 1, 5, 10 years and asked them to tell me a few things they loved about their wedding that they woulnd't change, and a few things they would do differently.  This helped SO much!  I took their advice and ran with it.  And so i wanted to type out a few things I learned from my season of wedding planning for those who are in this season, know someone who is, or just interested!

1. Before you start planning spend some time as a couple dreaming about what you want your wedding to look like.  What is the vision for your wedding?  What are the top 3-5 things that are priorities to you?

2. Write down your top priorities and then start really thinking about how you want those to influence your wedding.  For Dustin and I we knew our wedding would be big.  We wanted the freedom to invite a lot of people, so that immediately took out quite a few venues that we liked but weren't big enough for our wedding size.  We also knew we didn't want  a long engagement so that impacted looking at venues and vendors that were available in our time frame.

  

3. Keep an ongoing to do list.  For me google sheets really helped.  This way I could keep multiple tabs with different to do lists and I could share it with Dustin and my mom so that we could all see the same thing.  

4.  Try to map out a timeline for the said to do list.  So much is waiting on vendors and other people but as much as you the more you plan ahead the better.  We were engaged 5.5 months, which at the time felt like forever but looking back we had to race to get a few things done.  

5.  Date your fiance.  It was so easy for me to be in wedding mode all.the.time so Dustin would sometimes say to me, "let's not talk about the wedding tonight" This was hard for me at times, but really we needed to have fun, and keep dating through this process!  

6.  Pre-marital counseling.  Best thing ever!  To be honest I knew this was important, but when we were thinking through it I felt overwhelmed about how we were going to do it.  We met with an older  couple on staff with Cru who had been longtime friends/mentors for Dustin.  We did coffee together on Thursday mornings for about 2 months.  It really became a time I looked forward to and we learned so much!  We had to really protect this time in a crazy season, but it was so worth it!  

7.  Don't make it about the money!  OK yes money is super important, but weddings are expensive!  I could get so consumed with how much everything was costing and how stinkin expensive weddings are.  What helps is to set a budget and then decide how you want to spend that budget.  I had to let go of things I originally wanted, because other things were more important and it all wouldn't fit in the budget.  That's ok!  We spent a lot of time praying and thinking through it all and just made it work.  I realized things that originally were important to me became less as the planning went on.  Everyone kept telling me it would all work out and it really did! 

8.  Have a candy bar and a photo booth!  For as long I can remember I wanted these 2 things at my wedding.  My parents thought I was crazy at first, but they were willing to oblige to my request. And it was SO FUN!  Photo booths are just fun!  It reaches all generations and it gives people and opportunity to take pictures and be silly together.  our wedding was a reunion of sorts because so many family and friends came from different seasons who had not seen each other in awhile.  It was fun to see people from these seasons gather in the photo booth together for a silly pictures!  plus our photo booth company made an album for us so that we got a copy of every picture taken with notes from our guests.  Do research on photo booth companies, because different companies will offer different services, but really I highly recommend it for a fun addition.  We used Little Red Photo booth and they were awesome!  Candy tables are also super fun!  We bought all our candy from Sams and then just collected little containers from thrift stores.   We bought baggies from party city and made stickers on vista print. It was the perfect little "make your own party favor"  

9.  One of the best pieces of advice i received was "don't try to do stuff yourself" Yes we wanted to add some personal touches that we did ourselves, but hiring out much of the wedding was the best thing ever.  I knew I wanted my mom to be the mother of the bride on my wedding day and not running around coordinating food, decorations, or anything.  Knowing that other people were handling the day of logistics was the best feeling ever.  We really got to enjoy the day and didn't have to worry about a thing!  

10.  Don't be afraid to ask for help.  I had so many people offer to help me. I learned pretty quickly that I needed to write those names down and take them up on it:-)  From simple errands, to little logistical things several of our friends were SO helpful especially day of!  

11.  Be ready for your wedding a week before.  This might have been one of the best pieces of advice I received and I really tried to do this.  I might not have been ready a week before but by the time my bridesmaids arrived on Thursday I wanted to be done.  And pretty much we were!  This made the days leading up to the wedding SO fun.  I was able to just relax (for the most part:-)) and enjoy time with our families and wedding party.  Those days with my bridesmaids specifically were incredible.  I made a point of trying to make it as relaxing as possible for them (as much as wedding weekends are) and just enjoy the reunion and celebration that it was.  

12.  Remember this is your wedding (and your fiances) Everyone has lots of opinions and YES listen and take notes, but at the end of the day if you are like me don't stress about what everyone else thinks.  There were certain things that Dustin and I decided that probably wouldn't have been other peoples first choice, but our family and friends were respectful and at end of the day it just dosen't matter what everyone else thinks.  And it's going to be great no matter what because it's your wedding!  

13.  PRAY!  We made a prayer plan for our engagement season and personally and together really fought to spend time praying through this.  We prayed for the logistics, we prayed for the friends and family traveling, we prayed for our relationship during engagement, we prayed for marriage. And prayer is a beautiful thing.  As we prayed it allowed us to release things, to cling to the Lord, and to be united together. We were able to see the Lord work and be a part of his story and plans!  We watched the Lord answer prayers and he really blessed us with his presence.  

14.  When the day comes just have fun!  Yes everyone says something will go wrong.  And yes it probably will, but don't stress about that.  Just do all you can to plan, give it to the Lord, and let go!  It will all work out and you want to enjoy your day.  I can honestly say Dustin and I truly enjoyed our wedding day.  Yes it was a blur in many ways, but we soaked up every minute, went with the punches, and had the best day of our lives!

I know everyone's dreams, visions, finances, and plans are different but I hope some of this will help if you are that person in this season.  I loved my wedding and am thankful for the opportunity to plan a day that meant so much to Dustin and I!